About Me

Hi! So, I’m Zach, and I write a lot about movies and TV and music and things like that. This blog is going to do its best containing those thoughts. Feel free to add comments on posts. You can also find me on Twitter (@TwinCinema). But that’s probably how you even found this blog to begin with, isn’t it?

There isn’t much to tell about me. I was born in Knoxville, TN, grew up in Eugene, OR, and went to middle and high school in suburban Kansas City. I went to undergrad at the University of Georgia (BA in Philosophy) then graduate school at the University of Miami (MFA in Film Production). I moved to Los Angeles, where I currently live and work in the television industry. I won’t be talking much about my job (or about poker, which I play semi-professionally) because nobody cares about that; this is a space for me to share opinions on arts & entertainment.  And lists, many lists.

Why “Private Joker’s Head?” Private Joker is a character from Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket, and has been my most popular internet handle for years. “Head” is Marine slang for toilet, so that makes it even more appropriate for my thoughts. No, I’ve never been in the military, nor do I have too fond an opinion of that institution. I just love the movie. And Kubrick.

Along the way you’ll see a lot of movie grades from 1-10. I like the 1-10 scale for a few reasons. It reminds me of the great lunch scene in L.A. Story (“How was your flight?” “I give it an 8”). The star system is overdone and pretty lame (not to mention it means different things for different critics), and the letter grade system makes me feel too academic.  If you want a conversion chart, then I shall not disappoint:

  • 10 = ****(A). Simply brilliant, a virtually flawless masterpiece.
  • 9 = **** (A-). A great film, will probably make my top ten list for the year.
  • 8 = ***1/2 (B+). Really damn good. A couple of drawbacks, but highly recommended.
  • 7 = *** (B).  Solid. See it if you get a chance.
  • 6 = **1/2 (B-).  Barely above average, nothing to write home about.
  • 5 = ** (C/C+).  Doesn’t really work. Sorry, Charlie.
  • 4 = *1/2 (C-).  It’s got some serious problems.
  • 3 = * (D/D+).  This one flat-out sucks.
  • 2 = 1/2* (D-).  A total piece of shit, one of the worst of the year.
  • 1 = no stars (F).  Horrendous, beyond incompetent. The director must be thrown screaming from a helicopter.

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